A few weeks ago I received a wonderful email from a company called Blossoming Gifts who wanted to offer me the chance to experience and write about the wonderful bouquets they have to offer. I am an absolute sucker for some pretty flowers so I jumped at such an opportunity. Flash forward less than 48 hours and they were on my doorstep, and it was love at first sight.
Muscle Dysmorphia: why don’t we talk about it?
This topic is incredibly close to my heart. I can only speak through my experience as a girlfriend of someone who suffers with muscle dysmorphia (other wise known as bigorexia). Dan inspired me and even suggested I write this post and I for one would like to applaud his bravery for allowing me to write this. This is such a HUGE part of his life, and it’s become a rather large part of mine now too. I’m both really excited yet incredibly nervous to publicise this post. Excited because I’m so passionate about it, yet nervous because I’m plunging headfirst into unknown territory. In this post I will be explaining exactly what muscle dysmorphia means, its place in today’s society, and how it has effected Dan, both physically and mentally.
Coconut Lane Haul with an Exclusive 20% Discount
Hi everyone! I’ve been really excited to click “publish” on this post as I’m so in love with this brand! I was recently contacted by the lovely people at Coconut Lane who have offered me an amazing opportunity…. I am now a #CoconutQueen !!! Exciting times! So what does this mean exactly? Well, I have been given my very own unique code which I can give to all my lovely followers: jadeimogen20 which you type in at the checkout to get your whopping 20% off…. YAY!
Giveaway to Celebrate 1,000 Twitter Followers
I’ve been looking forward to posting this for weeks! I’m so excited to announce that
I have reached 1,000 twitter followers (eeeeek)!! To celebrate and to thank you all I want to host a little giveaway to thank you all for supporting me this far. I know 1,000 probably doesn’t seem like much to some people but for a fairly new blogger like myself I am so thrilled to have reached this milestone in only three months of blogging. Firstly, I will introduce you to what you have a chance at winning, & there will be an easy-to-use rafflecopter form at the bottom to complete in order to bag yourself a shot at winning these fantastic goodies.
BMI: it doesn’t work for everyone
Hey guys! In this post today I’m going to be talking about something very close to my heart.
Weight has been an issue for me for a long time now, since I can remember pretty much, and for the longest time I’ve been insecure about it. This only got worse when I was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome (see my posts here and here for more on my experience with PCOS) monitoring my weight has become a part of my life, and regular weight checks at my nurse appointments have put me on edge and made me feel awful about myself. Recently I had a mini-revelation about BMI and it’s uselessness with my condition and I know that many others feel the same way!
What exactly is BMI?
BMI stands for Body Mass Index… but what does that even mean? Well by typing this question into google I was able to find the following answer from the Centre for Disease Control and Prevention site:
“Body Mass Index (BMI) is a person’s weight in kilograms divided by the square of height in meters. A high BMI can be an indicator of high body fatness. BMI can be used to screen for weight categories that may lead to health problems but it is not diagnostic of the body fatness or health of an individual”
… Well that’s interesting… This reference would suggest that BMI isn’t reliable when calculating the health of an individual. Perhaps I’m the only one, but to me that came as a surprise seeing as my doctors seem to rely on it and that there is actually a BMI calculator on the NHS site, which will proceed to tell you if you are 1. Underweight 2. Healthy weight 3. Overweight. A link for this calculator is here but hold on before you type in your data and cry like I did at the results, because I’m about to tell you why you shouldn’t bother.
As I’ve said, over the past few years I’ve done a fair amount of research on BMI and it seems that EVERYONE is asking why? EVERYONE agrees that it isn’t a useful tool for monitoring the health of an individual. For example, this was said by researchers from the Perelman School of Medicine, University of Pennsylvania.
“BMI (body mass index), which is based on the height and weight of a person, is an inaccurate measure of body fat content and does not take into account muscle mass, bone density, overall body composition, and racial and sex differences”
So FINALLY someone with medical knowledge is backing up what everyone’s been thinking. At the end of the day, muscle weighs roughly 3 times more than fat, but BMI only takes into consideration your weight and height – which excludes important details such as the weight of your muscles, your bones, your natural body shape and other things which could effect your overall weight such as race and sex.
Now it’s getting personal…
So what’s my problem exactly? Why have I been so obsessed with BMI?
Well, as I mentioned at the beginning I was diagnosed with PCOS at 18 and at that time I was the smallest I’d ever been. I had a cyst on my left ovary the size of a golf ball (just imagine that in your head for a moment… A GOLF BALL?!) and as a result the pain had led to a complete loss of appetite. I fell out of love with food for the first, and hopefully the last, time of my life. My mum was really concerned about me but I couldn’t even force myself to eat… or sleep…. or just function as a normal human being. At this time I was roughly 8 stone 7lbs, the lightest I’ve ever been. When I was diagnosed I was weighed and my BMI was taken… Drum roll please…
Yep. On that day the doctor told me that I was the PERFECT WEIGHT and that with PCOS it is important to remain on the lower end of the scale in order to improve chances of fertility in later life so maybe I should consider losing a little bit more… Well my mum wasn’t happy with that I’ll tell you that much. She said something along the lines of “Look at her – this isn’t healthy! Don’t encourage my daughter to starve herself! She hasn’t been able to eat due to the pain!!!” Yes, the doctor was only doing her job but if she opened her eyes and took one look at me it would only take an educated guess to realise that she shouldn’t have told me to lose even more weight!
That was the day it began. Ever since then I have had to go to the doctors and be weighed every 6 months in order to pick up the pill, which I need to stop the cysts from growing. My weight now fluctuates between 9 stone 7lbs – 10 stone 7lbs (usually depending on my lifestyle), but I do live a healthy lifestyle on the whole. I absolutely dread my appointments because what do I get told?
And of course I get the TOTALLY offensive “Well… You don’t LOOK ten stone” immediately followed by advise to try to lose at least a stone, fantastic. It’s degrading, it’s emotionally traumatic, and what makes it worse: it’s completely pointless! I get myself so worked up over these appointments because even though I know it’s utter rubbish, a stranger still looks me in the eye and tells me to lose weight. It’s so wrong on so many levels GAH.
My alternative to BMI
My weight stays put at roughly ten stone for the majority of the time, regardless of what my body is actually looking like, so I have turned to a different method to maintain my health and that is by using body measurements.
For me, this method is SO much more accurate than BMI when I’m trying to lose a bit of fat or what have you because I’ve always been very muscly, particularly in my legs (I danced a lot from the age of 3 so my legs are firm as rocks!) and so it comes as no surprise that like many of us… I do have some muscle?! When I lose weight I do it through exercise, meaning that my fat turns into muscle. So whilst I reduce in mass, I stay the same in weight. Using a tape measure is honestly a game changer for me.
As an example: since coming home from University 3 weeks ago I have been eating healthier and tracking progress on the scales and it has come up at ten stone and seven pounds every single time. Out of curiosity I also measured my body and I have lost half an inch off my waist and half an inch off my hips!!!
That was sooooo amazing to see as I don’t usually see any progress being made at all! I honestly could have cried!
My advice to you
If I could recommend you all to do just one thing it would be to listen to your body. Don’t punish yourself for gaining a little, adjust your goals, forgive yourself and keep motivated. We’re all only human at the end of the day – we’re not perfect, and we would be boring if we were. Learn to embrace your insecurities and try something new if what used to make you feel good no longer does. I’m so happy to have ditched the scales and tried something which works far, far better for me. Equally, if the scales do work for you – then go crazy! What I’m trying to say is: don’t let numbers rule your life. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you don’t deserve to be happy. Life isn’t as easy as a scientific formula or a maths equation, so don’t treat yourself or your body like one. Look after yourself and be the best you you can be.
If you’re interested in reading more about Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, check out my two-part post about it, here and here, where I go into much more detail about how it effects me both physically and psychologically.
*DISCLAIMER* Please remember that every experience is different and if you have any concerns after reading this, ask your GP. I am not a doctor and I know through my own mistakes to never self-diagnose.
I really hope you’ve learned something and maybe gained some self-confidence in reading this post! Do you have any opinions on BMI? Perhaps you have a medical background and have an explanation for it’s use? Please let me know what you think in the comments below!
Thank you so much for reading! Don’t forget to follow me on my other social media accounts, and feel free to comment below or message me for a chat – I’d love to talk to you.
I’ve Finished my Degree… Now What?
Why hello there! So many things have changed in the last few
weeks, my head is spinning! I had my last assignment deadlines and my last ever exam as a student, I left my job in retail, started a full time job in administration, I moved out of my student house and said goodbye to my friends who I have lived with for the past 2-3 years and moved home with my whole life packed into boxes. Phew. So what now? In this post I’ll be looking back and discussing my amazing last few years at University, but also looking forward and getting exciting about my short & long term plans for the future… Exciting!!!
What I’ll miss about University
- I’m going to miss Lincoln as a city more than words can say. It’s been my home for the last few years and I’ve become so familiar and attached to it! It’s not altogether different from Cambridge which was attractive to me when I chose University of Lincoln but it’s so different at the same time. Like Cambridge, it’s full of quirky and eccentric characters, and I’ll miss having a giggle at some of the sites I was subjected to when walking down the high street. I’ll miss the touristy areas of Lincoln such as the castle and the cathedral, I absolutely love cities like Lincoln which are rife with history and culture. I’ll definitely miss the wide choice of food available to me on the Brayford, which was home to so many different restaurants, there’s literally something for everyone and every appetite there and I took that for granted definitely.
- The partying is going to be hard missed for sure. Having the ability to go out any day of the week and take full advantage of all the student promo offers was amazing. One particular night I will miss is Skint Tuesdays. Drinks were £1 each, the music was always amazing, themed nights, a non strict dress code and an awesome crowd! What’s not to miss there?! Some of my best nights out were definitely at Skint and I miss it already. I definitely took for granted the short walk into town on every night out – now it’ll be train journeys and expensive taxi’s home… *sarcastic woo*.
- I’m going to sound like such a nerd here, but I’m genuinely going to miss the lessons! I love the academic environment and the vibe of a seminar room. Of course this rule doesn’t apply to ALL lessons, there were some which I would have much preferred to sleep through,
and often did, but on the whole I loved soaking up the tutor’s knowledge like a sponge. - One thing which I have started to miss already is my independence. Living so close to everything I very rarely relied on lifts or public transport to get me from A to B, but now I’m home I have to either catch a ride or take the train and walk a mile just to get to work. Weirdly, I miss doing my own laundry and planning and cooking my own meals… Weird right? I’m doing as much of this as I can at home but there are certain limitations like over complicating the food shop and wasting money by separating my laundry from my family’s. I’m just going to miss feeling like more of an adult I suppose.
- MY FRIENDS. Waaaaah this is a big one! We have our fall outs but I loved my little family oh so much. Having a crappy day and knowing I would come home to cuddles, Game of Thrones or a movie night was definitely a huge security blanket for me, and one I’m going to miss immeasurably. By third year, I had made such a huge bond with Katie, Tom and Dan and I now consider them to be some of my absolute closest friends. Luckily, Dan only lives about 20 minutes up the road and so meeting up with him will be fairly easy, but Katie and Tom live a good 2 hours away :'( We’re definitely going to make time for each other though,we chat on Facebook messenger at least once a day but I can’t handle being away from that lot!!
What I won’t miss about University
- My stress levels have definitely dropped by at least half in the last few weeks since completing my degree. Obviously stress is natural and I’m sure I haven’t escaped it completely, but WOW they really don’t prepare you for the quantity of work you will be doing, the close deadlines and just how tricky the work is. I’ll definitely miss my library sessions because we made them fun and I always looked forward to them – but the lack of sleep and the amount of work it took to put into a good essay by third year was just so much stress by the end of it, so it’s nice to take a break from that for a while.
- Although I enjoyed being given the opportunity to read such a variety of books, and to analyse them through certain lenses, I WILL NOT miss having to read constantly. On so many occasions in the last few years have I found myself at 4am waking up with a start, dribbling on a book which I had to finish for the next day with 100 pages left to go. Some of you are probably thinking “Well, you should have organised your time a little better” but I can’t explain how difficult it was to juggle everything. I had to find time to read at least 3 texts a week in between attending University, typing up my notes, going to work and you know, enjoying my life? Some of these texts at 100 pages were a breeze – it was the big bulky 500 page ones which screwed me up completely. I tried my best but I have no idea how someone could read EVERYTHING on the course… Unless they didn’t have a life?
- One amazing feeling coming home was banishing the distance from my friends back home, my family and Dan. I am now a 2 minute walk from Jess’ house and a 15 minute walk from Dan’s, and of course I’m under the same roof as my family! No more emotional Skype calls, home sickness and Dan no longer has to travel 80+ miles to see me for 24 hours at the weekend. This is a big one for me. Although mine and Dan’s relationship began at University, so the distance was all we ever knew, it’s so nice to know that he’s only around the corner at any given time!
- I WILL NOT miss being in my overdraft!!! I was quite good with my finances at University roughly 90% of the time, but when things were tight and I slipped into my overdraft it was the most horrible feeling in the world! I never ever went near my £500 overdraft limit because of the way it made me feel. I worked two jobs every time I came home just to scramble my way out of it, and of course I worked in retail throughout my whole time at University. The student loans really screw over those who come under the “middle bracket”. Grrrrr. I could go into a rant here but I’ll resist.
- One thing I am glad to see the back of is the drama and the arguments which happened at University. So you’d think that childish pettiness and bitchiness would have ended at secondary school right? WRONG. In my final year there were horrible incidents with individuals which made me feel so alienated I felt like I couldn’t speak in my own house, in fear that I’d say something and it would be taken in the wrong way, twisted, and it would be spread around that I was this awful person… Yep, this is how bad it got. Now, I don’t care what simple minded people think of me, but false accusations were flying around on social media (not small accusations either), I just lost it. That sort of petty drama could have had a SERIOUS effect on my career prospects, but luckily people knew they were false and ridiculous and were therefore invalid. One thing University has taught me is that some people out there are just nasty, and the healthiest thing to do is to cut them out of your life as soon as you possibly can. Maybe it’s because I took a gap year before University, but the immaturity of some people was baffling!!!
So now I have found myself in this strange transitioning period. From Saturday – Tuesday I went from being a student and having zero routine to working 9-5.30 Monday to Friday and having the weekends to myself. It’s a very strange, sad, yet wonderful feeling! I’m so proud of what I’ve managed to accomplish in my time at University – both academically and socially. I have made so many bonds with countless people and really proved my talents both to myself and to those around me.
So what are my plans for the future?
- Take driving lessons and pass my test. I have been reliant on other people driving me about for far too long now, and after coming home I’m already craving some independence, so this is how I aim to get it!
- Start saving. I am now earning enough to live comfortably AND start saving. What a wonderful time to be alive! My main two things to save for are holidays and for a future house deposit, but I’ve also wanted an iPad for quite a while, I need a new camera etc… So I aim to put roughly half of my wages away a month.
- Blogging. Now I’m free and my routine is being slowly established I will be blogging regularly now, rather than as and when I could squeeze it in! Until I get some decent lighting, I intend to take all my blog photos at the weekend and take a couple evenings of the weekdays to type up two blog posts a week. I’d like to post three a week ideally but we’ll see how easily my time spreads.
- Search for a career. This is in the next few years or so as I’m in a secure well paying job at the moment, so there’s no particular rush. I have a few ideas floating around in my head *Top Secret* but I want to take my time and make sure I end up doing something I love for a living – there’s nothing worse than having to rely on that Friday feeling every week.
- Decorating. Now I’ve come home, I’ve found that my room hasn’t really changed in the last four years in terms of style, and I desperately need to make this room more homey. I’m looking for pastel shades with a bit of marble & monochrome!
- Taking up hobbies. One thing I don’t want to happen is for me to get too comfortable in this 9-5.30 routine and to forget the things I enjoy. So I need to find a reasonably priced gym to go to and potentially a gym buddy but I’m quite happy to go on my own. I also want to start back up with dancing and to ensure that I carry on reading.
As you can probably tell, my emotions towards leaving University are all over the place. But at the end of the day, I don’t regret a single thing about the past three years – University was honestly THE BEST decision I have ever made! I’ve learned and matured so much, it’s unbelievable. Most importantly, I have made the most wonderful friends who have given me fantastic, unforgettable memories which I will treasure for the rest of my life.
If you want to read more about my University experience, you can read my post “Seven Things I Have Gained Through University” – it goes into a bit more detail about what things I have taken away from this wonderful experience!
I hope you have enjoyed this post – I’m sorry that it’s a tad bit long, I just had so much to say! Were you a student at University? Did you feel any differently when you left? Please comment below, I’d love to hear from you.
Thank you so much for reading! Don’t forget to follow me on my other social media accounts, and feel free to comment below or message me for a chat – I’d love to talk to you.
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Kylie Jenner Lip Kit of Kylie Cosmetics: Candy K
Hey everyone! My Uni stuff is just about all unpacked now and I’m easing back into 9-5 life pretty well, but wow-oh-wow this week has been mad! Trying to establish a routine when your room is full of boxes is near impossible, but I’ve just about done it… Phew!
In today’s post I’ll be talking about another amazing Kylie Jenner lip kit, and this one is EVEN BETTER than the last! Candy K! This was my second Kylie Cosmetics purchase and yet again it was an amazing investment. You can read about my first lip kit, Koko K, right here!
I literally squealed with excitement when I saw this beautiful monochrome package in the postman’s hand… I think the poor guy is used to it by now, he didn’t even flinch!
The reason I bought another Kylie lip kit is that although Koko K is absolutely gorgeous, I found it to be a little bit too pale for a night out and for when I’ve caught the sun, which I have recently! (That isn’t me saying that only pale skinned people can wear Koko K, it’s just my personal preference.)
Candy K stole my heart! I love it’s pinky tones and the fact that it’s bold and subtle enough to wear for both day and night occasions.
I knew exactly what to expect on buying this product in terms of the amazing quality, smell and texture. As I’ve said before though I always get a bit nervous when I buy a lip product online because the shade sometimes looks completely different on your lips than it did on swatches or on other people! EEEK!
I haven’t included many photos of the lip liner because due to my move home from University I wasn’t able to take photos for quite a while, but I just couldn’t resist using it – so it’s looking a bit used and needs a sharpen!
Now the price of these lip kits is 29$ which works out at roughly £20 plus postage. I know this is a large amount to pay for a lip stick but I PROMISE you, it’s so worth it! The coverage is amazing, it makes your lips look fuller and sexier than ever and it lasts all day. I have gotten ready and applied Candy K at around 8pm, gone out drinking, eaten a shameful cheese burger and cheesy chips (no regrets), and woken up at about 12pm and it’s still there!!! Now that is priceless if you ask me. No drunken reapplying or worrying about eating or drinking with this lip product.
The drying time of this product is very short considering the beautiful creaminess of the texture. It probably takes at most around 30 seconds to dry, which of course is ideal because no one wants to be standing around waiting for their makeup to set – nightmare.
Personally, whenever I have been tempted to buy a Kylie lip kit, I am always umming and ahhing between two of my favourite shades. So if any of you are stuck between Koko K and Candy K, I have swatched both so you can see the difference! Personally, I like to wear Koko K in the daytime and Candy K at night, so my advice to you would be: BUY BOTH! If you are stuck with money, no worries – just convince a friend to buy one and go halves on postage! They will thank you for it I promise.
Ahhhhh I love it so much! The instant I apply this lipstick my confidence boosts X 100 and I feel super sassy and sexy in it. The lip liner is wonderful because it gives the appearance of filling out my lips, and there are no jaggedy lines – something which I always struggle with thanks to my inconveniently pointy cupid’s bow.
As I’m sure you’ve all probably gathered, there is nothing negative I can say about this product! The only downsides I suppose are the price and the hassle of trying to buy them with Kylie’s random release dates; but you get what you pay for and for me, this is definitely worth splashing out on! So what are you waiting for? Find out the next release date, save up your pennies and BUY BUY BUY!!! You can find this product and the rest of her amazing range on her website, which I have linked for you right here.
Writing about the Kylie lip kits is always a pleasure, and I can’t wait to get my hands on the next one and tell you all about that! I’m liking the looks of 22 and Reign … Ooooh the possibilities!
Do you have any questions about Candy K? Have you already tried it and have something to add? Have you had any issues with Kylie Cosmetics? Are you as excited as me about this fantastic brand? Please leave a comment below and let me know what you think!
Thank you so much for reading. Don’t forget to follow me on my other social media accounts.
How to Revise for Exams
Hello lovelies, following on from my exam on Tuesday I am doing a blog post today all about revision tips and giving you all an insight into how I revise. I often hear people say things like “Urgh I hate revision” and I wonder … Why?! I get that no one likes coming home to do homework or other work, but if you perfect your revision technique it really doesn’t have to be something to dread – you may even start to look forward to it whaaaat.
So here is my short little guide on how I do my revision to make it more interactive and enjoyable. Obviously we all work differently, and what works for me may not work for you – but I hope that the one thing you take away from this post is to make revision fun in order to stop yourself procrastinating, and most importantly, to get yourself learning!
Divide your revision into memorable topics, groups, titles or themes. I find this to be the easiest place to start in order to get myself thinking about what I should be focusing on for my exam. This makes your revision manageable and cuts out any unnecessary information before you waste your time factoring it in. I find it really helpful to assign a colour to each topic at this early stage in order to make my mind associate each topic with a colour. I sometimes find myself in an exam thinking “Yep I remember this bullet point which was on my red page” for example – it’s amazing what a little bit of colour can do!
Go through your notes and highlight key information. If you can, try to match your highlighting with your theme colours – once again, this helps your mind put things into groups of revision for you. This key information will be used later for spider diagrams and further notes so be critical with yourself – do you NEED to remember that? Is it likely to come up in the exam? Don’t try and overload your brain with useless facts! Keep it simple.
Make spider diagrams, graphs, grids or lists – whatever works for you! For this stage I always invest in a cheap A3 sketching pad, found in most stationary shops, as this allows for more room for creativity! I’m a very visual person and find that spider diagrams are best for my sort of learning – but if you feel more comfortable writing things into lists or other formats, go for it! Keep up your colour coding, doodle on the page – whatever helps to brighten up the page and make your notes memorable!
Shorten your notes to fit onto memo cards. For this step, you will be taking all the absolutely VITAL pieces of information which you will need for your exam. I find the memo card stage really helpful as I can carry them around in my bag and crack them out whenever I get a spare two minutes to test myself or have a quick read through. You can once again purchase a colourful and cheap pack of these from most stationary shops – I know I keep harping on, but once again, stick to your colourful themes, I promise it helps!
Recite, rewrite, underline, doodle – whatever works for you! In the final few days before the exam DO NOT ADD ANY NEW MATERIAL TO YOUR NOTES. This is key because your mind will go into panic mode and potentially throw out really important/ well remembered bits of information to make room for your last minute sloppy attempts at trying to cover everything. Have faith in the revision you have done so far, don’t panic – you have prepared well! What works best for me is to keep copying out my notes over and over again (this usually does result in really poorly hands and wrists but it works well for memorising things). I know some people learn better through listening or reading aloud or drawing pictures – do whatever is best for you! Only you know how you revise so have faith that you are in control and don’t worry if your friends are doing it differently.
MOST IMPORTANTLY… Relax. Take regular breaks throughout your revision. I would probably advise at least 30 minutes to an hour a day before bed of ‘me time’. Whether that be catching up with things on Twitter, watching your favourite programme, reading a good book, treating yourself to a facial mask, or trying out the Pocket Yoga app I recommended on my last post about panic attacks (the link to which you can find here). Whatever you like! It’s so important to take a breather during revision time and to not send your brain into panic mode.
I really hope this has helped those of you who are currently revising for exams, whether it’s for your GCSE’s, A Levels, Degrees, for work, or any other qualifications, GOOD LUCK! Remember: You’ve got this! As long as you have given it your all, you should be proud of yourself and proud of the work you have achieved!
I hope you have enjoyed this post about revision – I meant to do it sooner but my own revision kinda took over! Are you doing exams at the moment? Do you have any revision tips of your own? Would you like to know anything else about my revision technique? Please get in touch via commenting below, I’d love to hear from you!
Thank you so much for reading. Don’t forget to follow me on my other social media accounts.
Panic Attacks: How I Deal with Them
Hey everyone, remember me? I’m so sorry I haven’t posted in a while! Revision took a complete hold over me up until Tuesday, then I went out drinking, then I caught tonsillitis, eeek. So whilst I’m full of cold and incredibly contagious, I thought I would write this post, which I have been thinking of writing for a while now!
I have battled with panic attacks since I was roughly 14 years old. I was incredibly quiet at secondary school and bottled my emotions up in the hopes that they would just disappear. Of course they didn’t. My temper became incredibly unpredictable, my mood swings were terrifying and I was generally horrible to be around. At night I would lay there, completely unable to sleep – at this time I would average on 1-2 hours sleep a night and fall asleep in class. I have always been an incredibly academic person, but because of this I completely lost all passion for school and gave up with my grades.
One night, when I was laying there with just my thoughts to occupy me, my mind started drifting and I started playing out horrible scenarios in my head [something I always tend to do when I can’t sleep]. Next thing I knew, I had a tingling sensation in my nose, fingertips and toes, and they went numb. I tried wiggling them and pinching them to gain some feeling and then my breath started to become shallow. I was gasping for air and shaking all over. Tears started falling uncontrollably down my face and I tried to call out for help but I couldn’t speak. All I could think was “I’m going to die”. This state of helplessness lasted for over an hour and it was truly awful. This is a panic attack for me.
Panic attacks are different for absolutely everyone. They are triggered by different things, the pain manifests in different areas and their bodily reactions are different too. If you would like to see another post about panic attacks by the lovely Daniela and how she deals with them, please click here. Her post gave me the courage to write this so you should all go check it out!
As I’ve said, my panic attacks were quite severe at age 14, and for a couple of years they showed no sign of easing up. I would have at least one a night – sometimes lasting for five minutes, sometimes for several hours! It took me a long time to learn how to deal with them and how to nip them in the bud before they escalated, but I finally managed it! 7 years on and I probably get a panic attack once every six months (if that). Below is my own little makeshift guide on what helps to ward my panic attacks off:
- Recognise the triggers. What I mean by this is what sets them off? For me, I have a few fears such as losing the ones I care about, being abandoned and generally worrying that I will end up alone. Over the years I have recognised that these are recurrent triggers for my panic attacks. Once you know your regular triggers, it makes it easier to predict when you might have one, and to therefore remove yourself from the situation.
- Learn how to spot the symptoms before it turns into a full-blown panic attack. My very first symptom, which I always experience is the tingling in my nose, fingertips and toes. Once I start to feel this, I become mentally prepared for a panic attack and concentrate on my breathing and positive thinking in order to ward it off.
- BREATHE. The first thing I did when I started having panic attacks was talk to my mum. My mum’s panic attacks are fairly rare as she mainly gets them whilst driving, particularly on a busy road. She told me that whenever she feels one coming on, she pulls over and concentrates on her breathing and taking control over her body in order to avoid hyperventilating which would lead to a panic attack. This advice is TOTALLY invaluable. The cause for most panic attacks is shortness of breath: you are not supplying your brain with enough oxygen and therefore start feeling faint.
- Tell a couple of close friends/family. I personally find it really helpful to call or to sit with someone whilst I have a panic attack, usually Dan or a close friend such as Jess or Katie. Sure, it’s embarrassing at first but they will understand. I tell them what I need from them, such as “Tell me to breathe”, “I just want a cuddle”, “Reassure me that everything will be alright”. This reassurance/ comfort helps me so much during a panic attack. I used to hide away from the world, embarrassed of my panic attacks- but trust me, having someone there for you really helps!
- Don’t bottle up your emotions! This was a really big one for me. I’m quite private when it comes to my emotions, I would rather not burden anyone else with my issues. But this was one of the main reasons for my panic attacks! Suffering in silence is not the way forward! I started keeping a diary, which I used to vent all of my emotions, which helped loads. Just venting these everyday upsets is so important for my mental health. As my confidence has improved, these days I usually just end up ranting at one of my friends or Dan… Sorry guys!
- Find a hobby. This really could be anything, photography, dance, blogging, drawing, painting, colouring, reading, running, etc. etc. One thing which has worked particularly well for me is Yoga. I’m hardly an expert and I have never been to an official class, but there is an amazing App called ‘Pocket Yoga’. The exercises are 30 minutes long and are so useful when I am feeling particularly stressed or out of control!
At the end of it all, I think it’s most important to find something that works for you! Because every panic attack is different, the way you deal with yours will obviously differ from how I deal with mine. But hopefully in thinking a little more about your symptoms and your triggers, you will be able to find a way which works for you!
I hope you have enjoyed reading this post, I have been really nervous about publishing this one, so feedback would be great!
Do you suffer from panic attacks? Are your symptoms similar to mine? Or completely different? Please comment below and let me know what you think, I’d love to hear from you!
Thank you so much for reading. Don’t forget to follow me on my other social media accounts.
Summer Ball 2016
Hey everyone! I am soooo sorry for the lack of posts in the last week; revision has had me completely snowed under. The beautiful weather has definitely compensated for that as I’ve been sunning it up in the garden with my sharpies and A3 notepad. I do love revising, the only downside to it is that it makes you feel like you shouldn’t be doing anything else. I will do a post soon about revision technique and the ways I find to be most effective, motivating and most importantly: FUN.
Today’s post is a bit of a lifestyle post as I will be showing you photos and talking about my Summer Ball at University – prom and ball season is fast approaching and hopefully my photos will show you what to expect and maybe provide a little outfit/make up/hair inspiration!
The ball I attended was thrown for all students at University of Lincoln who study PR, Journalism or English, and it was in honour of a deceased lecturer, Jonathan Taylor, who passed away in November 2015 following a short illness. His being a senior lecturer in the school of journalism, I unfortunately didn’t have the pleasure of meeting him, but from the tributes I heard at the ball in beautiful speeches, I have no doubt that we have lost a very valued member of staff.
During these speeches the wife and daughter of JT were called up to the stage and awarded just over £400, which was raised by the ball and the raffle which took place. This money went to a charity of the family’s choice and his wife gave a very touching speech in memory of her passed husband. This short section of the evening was incredibly beautiful and I don’t think there was a dry eye in the house!
My flatmates kindly took photos before we hopped in the taxi, (the shoes I was wearing were literally KILLER) and I absolutely love what came out! Katie and I went for totally different looks to the ball, but as you can see they both work wonderfully!
My money has been a bit tight recently, so I chose to re-wear this gorgeous number which I bought on sale from New Look last summer! I am so obsessed with coral as a colour, especially in spring and summer as it’s really complimentary for a summer tan. Katie on the other hand found this gorgeous red wine colour dress from Boohoo which looked great with her dark hair – we were like light vs. dark, I love how we both contrast and compliment each other.
D’awwww, this is such a nice, natural photo! As you can probably see, our boys coordinated themselves with our dresses, which was a nice little touch! They don’t half scrub up well! I was in total awe of Dan all night, he’s absolutely wonderful.
What a lucky girl I am. Dan knew that at my secondary school prom, I hated the way I looked and moments before I went I had a teary breakdown and begged my mum to stay at home. I was very self conscious at that age and didn’t particularly want to parade myself around in front of everyone at school in a dress and heels. Dan went above and beyond to make it up to me and to make me feel special.
Dan bought me a beautiful corsage (which I will show you later – I was absolutely gushing over it all night), he bought endless amounts of prosecco for our table, danced with me right up until the lights came on, bought me a HUGE amount of food in McDonalds at the end of the night and kept me giggling all the way home. Swoooooon. I really am incredibly smitten.
I chose to go fairly light with my make up, yet still remain bold and eye catching. I used the Makeup Revolution Flawless eye shadow palette for a pinky toned smokey eye using colours: Soft Glow as a base, Barely Pink to cover the lid, and Red Night in the creases (I’ve written a review about this product here).
I also used my Kylie Cosmetics Lip Kit in Koko K (a review for this is also available here) which I thought really complimented my look, as it wasn’t too bold to take over my entire look, yet went well with all the pinky tones of the rest of my makeup.
I also made use of a set of Eyelure lengthening false lashes. I use this brand and style of false lashes every time, I feel as though they are really subtle, yet dramatic enough to make a difference.
©Gabrielle Laycock Photography
When we arrived at the ball, we noticed a professional photography service which we made great use of! The woman taking photos was very kind and patient. Throughout the night SO MANY drunk people were falling over and breaking the background, which must have been infuriating for her, but she kept her cool and remained composed.
©Gabrielle Laycock Photography
What was really great about the photographer was that she showed us previews of each photo and allowed us to take another. I’m a bit funny with photos taken of me by others, especially when I’ve had a drink because I don’t trust my vision, so I always like to have another photo taken JUST INCASE.
©Gabrielle Laycock Photography
I love all of these photos and how professional and smart we all look! Trust me, we were all a bit more than jolly at this point thanks to the lovely prosecco. But due to the amazing photographer, we look great!
Now onto a very exciting topic: MY CORSAGE. Omg I literally love it so so so much! I didn’t get a corsage for my prom so this was ever so special and I was showing it off all night!
This was a fresh corsage with real flowers, so it had to be kept in the fridge to preserve it before the night arrived!
This photo of me is a bit gross, but this is the extent to which I was showing it off haha!! I just couldn’t stop touching it, and even got a bit weirdly teary eyed about it after the prosecco had been a-flowing!
Hahhah I can’t get over Dan’s little chavvy hand motion here… WHAT IS THAT? I do love him very much, he never fails to make me smile.
Holly got a lovely group selfie in the toilets – unfortunately, thanks to my white hair and the unflattering toilet lights, I ended up looking like bloody casper – but everyone else looks absolutely gorgeous!
We had a gorgeous two course meal, I had chicken in a red wine sauce with roasted veggies which was absolutely DIVINE. I also had a chocolate praline dessert which I wolfed down in essentially two bites – I just LOVE chocolate.
And here come the very very drunk photos from the rest of the evening:
To sum it all up, I had an amazing time at the ball and I really hope that another one is thrown for next years students! For all ball and prom goers this year and in years to come, take my advice: don’t let any haters get to you or let anyone make you feel less than you are. You are amazing and prom is only a bit of fun after all! Let your hair down and have a giggle and a dance with your best friends and don’t take any of it too seriously, I wish I didn’t!
Do you want to know anything else about the summer ball? Have any beauty questions which you need answers to? Would you like to share your ball or prom looks, both the good and the bad? Please leave a comment below to let me know what you think – I’d love to hear from you.
Thank you so much for reading. Don’t forget to follow me on my other social media accounts.